Upper Management Called...

I've been living life. Eatin all the ice cream,all the fried chicken, all the stuff my kids leave on their plates after I've finished mine. I hate pants, so I mostly wear shift dresses and leggings. Last October, I had to have a pair of jeans for a Junior League event. Went to the closet pulled out every pair I own and none of them would even come close to fitting. I ran that night to Target, grabbed a couple of size 12s and headed to the fitting room. They wouldn't go over my thighs. I had a mini panic attack, but thanks to my anxiety meds, I quickly mellowed out and resigned myself to go back out and get a bigger size. I grabbed a few 14s and refused to touch the 16s. Surely I hadn't gotten THAT big. Y'all real talk, I'm 5'1, I am a small person, I shouldn't be a size 16. Luckily the size 14s fit, but even then, when I would bend over, they would roll down. A sure sign my belly may be a bit too big. Oh well, I had what a needed for the next day and I left Target. I may have even left with a bar of chocolate. Who knows, I went through a phase where I couldn't leave a checkout without some little goody.

Obviously I'm on the left. October 2017

Fast forward to January. My husband had a banquet/award dinner to attend, black tie optional. While I had some things that would work in my closet, I knew they wouldn't fit and it was too late to rent a dress. Being the true southern woman I am, I ran to Belk to quickly find a dress an hour before the event started. Found a great dress, shoes, and pantyhose (yes, I live the classy life). Got home threw it all on, did my makeup and out the door. I felt GREAT, I felt like I looked good, the dress fit well, and my eyebrows were on fleek. Then the photos started popping up on Facebook, and that is when it hit me. "HOLY SHIT! I'M HUGE." It wasn't just my thighs or my tummy. It was my arms and my face. My face had become so round, that when I smile, my eyes look closed. 

December 2017

And now here we are, April and I still haven't tried to do anything. To be a bit fair to myself, we did decide to redo our kitchen and put our house on the market, so I lived without a kitchen for a month and a half and have been eating out like everyday, but still here we are. Now that we've moved, and have a bit of normalcy back, I'm getting serious. I started posting my journey this week on Insta and was having such amazing responses from friends who are in the same place, have been in the same place and kicked ass, and those that are just amazingly supportive. So I figured, ya know what? I'm not really a shy person, let's talk about my fat, let's talk about my rolls, let's talk about how at 32 I get winded walking up a flight of stairs. Maybe my honesty will actually spark a change in someone else, or help someone else keep going!

Left - 2010, Right 2017

So in April, upper management (my sensible brain) called down, told me to get my act together and make some changes. Melissa is now being managed and not left to her own devices.